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Things You Should Have Wondered About ok, so 20 mis out of date! Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   BenF 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 07:05 PM

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13.. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

21. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?


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#2 User is offline   JamesMalin 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 07:15 PM

Holland has two l's.

We don't have hair colour on our driving licenses.

Someone clearly doesn't like the chinese.

This post has been edited by JamesMalin: 01 September 2008 - 07:16 PM

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#3 User is offline   BenF 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 07:29 PM

QUOTE (JamesMalin @ Sep 1 2008, 07:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Holland has two l's.


ja_stupid.gif


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#4 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 07:30 PM

James is the new pedant woot2.gif

And Ben is being dense laugh.gif
"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


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#5 User is offline   Midnight Blue 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:35 PM

QUOTE (Crystalpuma @ Sep 1 2008, 08:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
James is the new pedant woot2.gif

And Ben is being dense laugh.gif



James can't read as Ben hasn't edited - so who is dense now!! laugh.gif
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#6 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:36 PM

ja_stupid.gif I am clearly being dense as I have no idea what you are talking about!

Poland - Poles is not same as Holland - Holes as Holland has two of the letter in the middle!!

This post has been edited by Crystalpuma: 01 September 2008 - 09:37 PM

"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


Nancy & Vix

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:37 PM

QUOTE (Midnight Blue @ Sep 1 2008, 10:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
James can't read as Ben hasn't edited - so who is dense now!! laugh.gif


And Ben cans type - Look at title wink.gif

#8 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:38 PM

QUOTE (Tiggr @ Sep 1 2008, 10:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And Ben cans type


roflmao.gif

This post has been edited by Crystalpuma: 01 September 2008 - 09:38 PM

"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


Nancy & Vix

#9 User is offline   BenF 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:38 PM

QUOTE (Crystalpuma @ Sep 1 2008, 07:30 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
James is the new pedant woot2.gif

And Ben is being dense laugh.gif



QUOTE (Midnight Blue @ Sep 1 2008, 09:35 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
James can't read as Ben hasn't edited - so who is dense now!! laugh.gif


thank you Pat - I wondered whether I had missed something!


Someone stole my Thunder...

#10 User is offline   Midnight Blue 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:39 PM

QUOTE (Tiggr @ Sep 1 2008, 10:37 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And Ben cans type - Look at title wink.gif


cans? Matt can't type either!! laugh.gif
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I stole BenF's Thunder ...

Pat

#11 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:39 PM

See my thread/post for explanation of James' point!

This post has been edited by Crystalpuma: 01 September 2008 - 09:41 PM

"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


Nancy & Vix

#12 User is offline   Midnight Blue 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:39 PM

QUOTE (BenF @ Sep 1 2008, 10:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
thank you Pat - I wondered whether I had missed something!


You have sweetie ... look at the title (thanks to Matt)
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#13 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:40 PM

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHH
"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


Nancy & Vix

#14 User is offline   BenF 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:41 PM

QUOTE (Crystalpuma @ Sep 1 2008, 09:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
See my thread for explanation of James' point!


which thread?


QUOTE (Midnight Blue @ Sep 1 2008, 09:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
You have sweetie ... look at the title (thanks to Matt)


ok, so I added an 'm' to 'is', but what is it with Hollland? ja_stupid.gif


Someone stole my Thunder...

#15 User is offline   Midnight Blue 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:42 PM

QUOTE (Crystalpuma @ Sep 1 2008, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
See my thread for explanation of James' point!



lol - apologies, Vix ........ didn't think James was that bright!! laugh.gif (joke, James )
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Pat

#16 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:43 PM

QUOTE (Crystalpuma @ Sep 1 2008, 10:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Poland - Poles is not same as Holland - Holes as Holland has two of the letter in the middle!!


BEN READ THIS!!!!

This post has been edited by Crystalpuma: 01 September 2008 - 09:44 PM

"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


Nancy & Vix

#17 User is offline   Midnight Blue 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:43 PM

[quote name='BenF' date='Sep 1 2008, 10:41 PM' post='762488']
which thread?

substitute 'post'
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I stole BenF's Thunder ...

Pat

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:44 PM

QUOTE (Midnight Blue @ Sep 1 2008, 10:39 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
cans? Matt can't type either!! laugh.gif


Matt is pissed ( and i even checked what I'd typed wink.gif )

#19 User is offline   Crystalpuma 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:45 PM

laugh.gif

If Ben and Pat aren't pissed then I don't know what's going on laugh.gif
"Margaret was right...piracy is our only option"
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen


Nancy & Vix

#20 User is offline   Midnight Blue 

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Posted 01 September 2008 - 09:46 PM

laugh.gif

QUOTE (Crystalpuma @ Sep 1 2008, 10:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
laugh.gif

If Ben and Pat aren't pissed then I don't know what's going on laugh.gif



Can't speak for Ben but I have only drunk tap water all evening!!
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I stole BenF's Thunder ...

Pat

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